Care, warmth and regards three different feelings on the love trajectory
Elder abuse and neglect are the commonest of all the problems faced by many elderly, aging people. Neglect is a failure to care and nurture. Abuse means ill treatment meted out to anyone, be it human, animal or nature. It could also be misuse of power or breaking someone’s trust, it could be giving attention, but a harmful one. However different their meanings are the amount of pain and harm, be it a mental, physical, psychological paint and hurts, inflicted on them cannot be different.
It is definitely inhuman in every sense – In everysense. On top of it, aging already brings with it the problems of memory loss, physical dependency and self inflicted abnegation due to distress, inability to get up and stand up for oneself. It is quite obvious with the kind of the weakness and the process aging brings in, it is very difficult for the old aged to fight back with their staunch and strong self as there is hardly anyone to support them. This makes them feeling more dependent and at times they are helpless with many things like doing small mundane everyday tasks. They would need that one person to help them with everyday tasks too.
With increased risk of major illnesses like depression, immobility, dementia and isolation on the rise, it is becoming even more problematic for the elderly to be independent and always by themselves. The key challenge is to know that abuse flies under the radar. Elders are at increased risk due to their vulnerability to the possibility of an abuse and even more, neglect.
Kind of neglects in India that the elderly face is total abandonment, non-inclusion in decision making, non-inclusions in social gatherings, or even daily dinners on tables. Abuse like yelling, terrorizing, desertion in public places, isolating, blaming, scapegoating, threatening, using abusive words, name calling and pushing away or throwing things –are all forms of common abuses that elders face. Specially, old men and old women who have had no support for themselves fall prey to these mistreatments. They also have to face financial exploitations from near and dear ones like someone forging their signature, misusing of their cheques, bank accounts and credit cards.
It is time to look into these issues through a new lens. Their presence can be an ounce of patience, calmness, tranquillity and support in silence than debilitating for young, youthful life the Gen-Y is living. In fact, one can gain more in conversation with the men who is at least wise your age. A simple give and take of glance, stare, touch, gestures can make a great difference to them.
That’s all they require; a hello, an evening walking with hand in hand and a cup of tea or coffee you can pour them in a cup dedicated to them. A lot of them crib about small things, about lives in general, and that time all they need an assurance that everything they have lived is worth one more dollop of ice cream and a good massage to their hard working hands and feet. There is nothing to be more proud about at present that all they have been through. It is indeed a blessing in disguise. All they need is sometimes your benevolent, safe guarding presence beside them that helps them healing themselves of their disturbed parts, a past that they and you don’t want to carry any forward.
Love can easily be distributed into forms when you don’t know the way to love.
Warmth is the touch, a hug and peck on their cheeks. Care is the physical nurturance and hands to hold instead stick if you can! Regards is respect for all they have been through and all that they are for you till now, for their being.
As Carers, you can rely on Papaya Care Special Support Interventions programs that are carried out every week and you can be assured of human interventions even to ill and sick person’s special rooms as a part of love giving.
Call up: Papaya Care to know more on how to care for old and elderly at home.
Because Love shared is equal to love returned!